About two weeks ago I celebrated with my friend for his 29th birthday. It was a great celebration, except I got drunker than the birthday boy. I got so drunk I was incoherent for at least 25 minutes. My friends were supportive, and helped me in my time of need.
When I came back too, I realized I did not have control of myself. I did not do anything wild, but I most definitely was at the mercy of anyone in my vicinity. I have not been vulnerable like that in years. It was truly eye opening. The first being, I have amazing friends. The second being, the control I think I have of my life is not really what it seems to be.
The next morning I was hungover, but my mind was moving faster than ever. I looked back at my goals for the new year, and reflected on everything I accomplished the previous year. Then I looked at the relationships I had with people over the past 12 months. This was the scariest reflection, because there was some unresolved issues that I let ride. Dissecting each and every situation was uncomfortable, but I definitely needed it.
I made a decision right there in my bed. I decided to contact everyone I might have felt uncertain or curious about. I am going to be honest, theses conversations I had did not go the way I envisioned them. Some people shocked me with what they said, and others were real casual with how they approached me.
All in all, I found common ground with each and every person, to continue my life. I always had the notion of me being perfect, then I would laugh at my imperfections. I just never took into account how the way I judged myself affected other people. I am glad I did this. I want to make it a thing every year, but some people do not want to be bothered by you. I am just happy I was able to confront some of my personal demons to ease my nerves and move on.