Don’t Leave Candy Around Me

IMG_1567While I was moving my friends car, I noticed these starburst wrappers in the side pocket of his drivers door. Immediately I scavenged through the pocket to find any uneaten starburst. I had hopes that he left one or two, and I was going to unapologetically eat it.

My friends know I am a candy thief. They do not leave candy around me, because they know I will eat it without a second thought. Every once in a while someone leaves candy out, and once I eat it, they automatically look at me.

I use to lie about it, and pretend like I did not eat it. After it happened more than 10 times, I got special talks. They usually go like, “Phil, do not eat all my candy. Phil, why are you so fat? Phil, I can’t leave anything around you!” Candy is my passion, and if you leave it around me, it is as good as gone.

In my older age, a number of my friends have small children. I have become more considerate of the kids, but overall I do not care. The kids have the same opportunity as me to eat the candy, they are just afraid of getting yelled at. I am a grown man, over 6 feet tall. Unless you are my mom or sisters, it will be a struggle to challenge me physically.

I do need to watch me candy intake, but that is a problem for another day. I am fine with my friends and family putting up candy when I come around. If they do not help me with my problem, who will. with them being so conscious of me, I do not think I will be changing soon.


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